Monday morning blues.
I have to keep it real: Graduate school, especially post-dissertation prospectus life, is brutal. Not only have I developed an unattractive patch of gray hair under my goatee, my sleeping habits have become increasingly insomniatic, my eyes have terrible dark circles under them, and my eating habits have been terrible, causing my weight to bounce and up and down unpredictably.
I am in need of a vacation! Unfortunately, I don't see one anywhere in site. Aside from working on my prospectus revisions, this semester I also have "work" commitments : I am the Teaching Assistant for a graduate course in Performance Studies (designed for M.A. level students) and Tavia Nyongo's research assistant. I am also working at People of Color in Crisis as a Community Research Fellow. I'm also delivering lectures at several universities this spring. I'm also still trying to have a social life. I'm also...ok, you get the point.
My endless state of over-extendedness has resulted in a real depression. I'm too tired to go to the gym with any kind of regularity, too "busy" to settle down and get a boyfriend (for co-emotional and sexual security) and too jaded to "look on the bright side."
Ugh, I just needed to get that out.
I feel a little better now.
-Frank Leon Roberts.
I have been feeling like that lately too. I just got through venting to a friend of mine-things will get better. "You have to do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do." I know-easier said than done...
Posted by
Anonymous |
2/04/2008
Oh Lord. I'm still an M.A. student and I feel like that. Good to know what I have to look forward to.
Posted by
Anonymous |
2/04/2008
Sending internet hugs your way. People who have their stuff together typically are always one bad move away from breaking down. Stay encouraged...your working towards a great goal.
Posted by
life |
2/04/2008
Frank, whether you feel like you can muster it up or not, you must take care of yourself. If you have yet to realize that you matter enough to do so, then take care of yourself because your community matters. We need you be your best and stop being so fucking stingy by not taking care of you. Who benefits when Frank is running at 60%, or anything less than 100%. Please stop being on all the time. You are the difference. Find your man. Relax a little. What if like was just a bit more casual?
Posted by
Anonymous |
2/05/2008
i second gizmo statements take time out for you and get it together. keep up the good work
Posted by
Andre J. Allen II |
2/05/2008
Frank you can do this man. You need to know that your are definitely an inspiration to young black men like myself who are just on the verge of graduating undergrad. Sometmes I come over here to your site to get inspiration to keep goin. If black men see other black men doing great things we will all get their and take back whats rightfully ours. Keep goin you got this.
Posted by
Anonymous |
2/07/2008
You said it all Frank. Even though I am just in undergrad I feel your pain because I also have a full-time and part-time job. It just seems like your list of things to do never gets completed because as soon as you finish one thing you add another. Just remember that things are only permanent temporarily!
Posted by
Anonymous |
2/07/2008
Hey I'm a high school senior and I will soon be joining the blog world due to inspirtations such as yourself and the other positive black gay men who I read faithfully. You realize that you have a purpose in life and know that it entails for down moments and depression, this is one of the times. It'll will get better soon, then you will get back down, only to feel better again! Just work hard and wait for your up time to come! Eventually your sucess will account to so much that the down times will seem as nothing because you know that something great will be next! Stay up and much love CUTIE! I LUV YA!
Posted by
Anonymous |
2/09/2008
lol, i wish i had your problems! better to have a life filled to the brim with important things to do that you enjoy rather than working the same boring job everyday, doing the same thing, putting up with the same ole crap with no real purpose other than to pay your bills.
Posted by
Anonymous |
2/12/2008