Frank goes on The Beyonce Diet
I'm 6'0 and 178 pounds. Between the ages of 17 and 21 my average height/weight ratio was 6'0, 156 (yes I was skinny, skinny boy). Then graduate school kicked in. I gained about twenty pounds over two years, bringing me up to the 178 I am today.The summertime's coming and I need to shed about 10 to 15 pounds. Considering that at 178 im still "skinny" by most conventional standards, most of my friends think I have a somewhat anorexic assessment of my body. However, I believe folks should set their own standards for what size is or is not appropriate for their body, and for me anything over 170 is "pushing it".
Do you think I can get down to 168 by March 31st?
Now obviously, im not stupid: I do realize that some people will intrepret my decision to diet as an example of a reinscription of problematic "fascist" body politics. Chile, its not that serious. Im just toning up, get a fucking grip. Black gay men in New York City have an interesting relationship to dieting. Many of us who are naturally thin and/or athletically built have a fear of loosing weight because of the "negative" stereotypes associated with weight loss and HIV/AIDS. Unless you're truly obese and in need of an intervention, casual weight loss is usually associated with femininity (and of course this is frowned upon), sickness, and frailty.
Can we move beyond this non-sense in 2007?
Tomorrow will begin Day 1 of the legendary "Beyonce Diet." For those of you who havent heard of this, its the lemonade diet that caused B to loose 20 pounds in two weeks while preparing for Dreamgirls. Everyone I know who has tried this has said it truly works. On the flip side, my homeboy only got through two days before he dam near passed out. It isnt that The Beyonce Diet is unhealthy, its just difficult to stick to. Lets see how well i'll fair. Check in on me from day to day, the whole process is only supposed to last about 10 days. Anything more than that and your ass is grass.
Ladies and gentleman, I present to you, The Beyonce Diet:
"So here it is, the Maple Syrup Diet, also known as the Lemon Cleansing Diet, the Lemonade Diet or the Master Cleanse which can supposedly be used for 3-10 days safely. This diet isn't new. The naturopath, Stanley Borroughs, developed it back in the 1950's. Be forewarned: a "cleansing reaction" is often noticed in the first two days. (That's diarrhea to you and me.)
Take a clean one-gallon jug and pour in the following:
3 Quarts of Water
1 Cup Lemon Juice
1 Cup Pure Maple Syrup (not maple flavored, but the REAL stuff) or molasses
1 Teaspoon Cayenne
Shake it all up and drink 8-12 glasses a day.
Warning: You will experience cravings, aches, pains, mental irritability and fatigue. These are symptoms of your body's detoxification.
If you really want to flush your system, proponents of the Master Cleanse recommend doing the following:
1. Go to your local health food store and get an herbal laxative tea that contains senna. While you're there purchase about 1 cup of non-iodized sea salt.
2. Every morning, before your lemonade, mix two teaspoons of the sea salt with a quart of water and chug. Make sure you are near a toilet and have about an hour to spare. You'll need it.
3. Every night, drink a cup of your laxative tea.
This fast should not be used for more than 10 days and you should wait at least four weeks before repeating it. Supposedly this fast dissolves toxins and is great for breaking up mucous. (That much lemon and cayenne will clear anybody's sinuses!)
Whatever you do, do not go directly back to a rich diet after your time on this fast. In fact, the best thing to do during a fast like this is to start setting your mind to healthy eating so that when you go off the fast you can start fresh on a healthy nutrition plan that will keep you body clean and strong. To ease out of the fast, do the following:
On the first day after your fast, drink unsweetened fruit juices.
On the second day, you can begin to eat fruit.
On the third day you may begin to eat light foods. Whatever you do, do not "wake up" your digestive system with high fat foods. It could be a very painful awakening."
i heard about this diet, and it does work. however, question: what are you allowed to eat while you are on the diet?
...or is that a dumb question. let me know. lol. seriously.
Posted by
Anonymous |
3/13/2007
i hope you are done "cleansing" by time you get to ATL
Posted by
C. Baptiste-Williams |
3/13/2007
well, at least take a multivitamin daily to make up for lost nutrients...
Posted by
Anonymous |
3/13/2007
Anonymous, to be knowledge you are NOT to supposed to EAT ANYTHING for 10 days. Just the juice! That, in combination with the massive diarrhea, is what is going to shed those extra love pounds off!
Posted by
the young people's professor |
3/13/2007
WHAT! eat nothing. oh no... i might as well be anorexic or bulimic, because i'll be starved, vomiting or both. i'll stick to Yoga and the elliptical...lol. good luck though, bruh.
Posted by
Anonymous |
3/13/2007
Ok. Let me know what she does to put the weight back on because I definitely could use the reverse-Beyonce diet. LOL. Good luck though and I'm gonna pray for those who stop by your house b/c with all that "cleansin'" going on, there is bound to be quite a smog. :)
Posted by
Anonymous |
3/13/2007
I think it's really called "The Master Cleanse" and to reply to anonymous.. I think you drink the "lemonade" when you get hungry. No food!
Posted by
Gigi |
3/13/2007
Good luck!! Your right people pay too much attention to weight. I'm slim and everyone loves to talk/tease me about it.
Posted by
life |
3/13/2007
Wow.. You broke that down..Thanks.. I'm doing it!!!
Posted by
Anonymous |
3/14/2007
Hey Frank,
I don't know you, but read your blogs all the time. I think that you are very talented and your ideas are great. I am always amused by your blogs.. as for the Beyonce Diet.. I say go for it, you have 1 life to live... LIVE IT.. because tomorrow is not promised.
Posted by
TheWRIGHTVision |
3/14/2007
do your thing frank! I know you will be able to work it out.
Posted by
Andre J. Allen II |
3/14/2007
Hey Frank,
What's up? I read your blogs all the time. I find them very informative and amusing. As for the diet, I say "DO IT". You have 1 life to live, so "LIVE IT" tomorrow is not promised. I wish you luck and maybe when I see you out, I will give you a pound and say "JOB WELL DONE"
Posted by
TheWRIGHTVision |
3/14/2007
Hey Frank,
What's up? I read your blogs all the time. I find them very informative and amusing. As for the diet, I say "DO IT". You have 1 life to live, so "LIVE IT" tomorrow is not promised. I wish you luck and maybe when I see you out, I will give you a pound and say "JOB WELL DONE"
Posted by
Anonymous |
3/14/2007
frank i'm with u on the master cleanse! i've done it once before and it works great! this is my second try and i'm on day 2
Posted by
Anonymous |
4/11/2007
this is just silly. starving yourself is foolish. Weight loss coupled with exercise and a balance diet is right living. I have lost 10 pounds in 2 months the old fashion way. Eating, sleeping, cardiovascular and weight exercises. Americans are so ridiculous when it comes to doing something right.
Posted by
Anonymous |
10/01/2007
Master cleansers do the lemonade diet, and salt water flush for simple and effective detox
sara
The lemonade master cleanser
Posted by
sara |
6/17/2009
I tried the beyonce diet..I ate a whole meal only 5 days into it, then I just kept eating and quit. Make sure that before you start it you are mentally prepared..it is very difficult. I'm going to try it again..because I saw results in those first couple of days.
Posted by
Anonymous |
8/02/2009
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
Posted by
Anonymous |
1/02/2010